Communication, Help your Husband Hear You

Is your husband tuning out when you talk? Help him hear what's on your mind.

Do you ever feel like you are talking to a wall when you talk to your husband? You are not alone. Husbands seem to conveniently tune out when their wives get vocal about serious matters.

You will be encouraged to know that it is possible to effectively communicate with your man. Wei Yin Wong, offers some great advice in her article “How to Communicate Effectively with Husbands,” that women can easily follow and get results.

Signal for a time-out. First she explains that your husband needs a clue from you that signals it’s time to talk. He can’t read your mind, so if you have something that needs to be discussed, you need to let him know. Don’t assume that he knows you have something on your mind by the way you’ve been acting. They are completely oblivious to this behavior, and usually assume if you’re acting different, that you must be on your period. It’s as easy as asking him politely when is a good time for him to talk.

Give a pep talk. Next, Wong suggests making sure you set an upbeat tone for the conversation. No man wants to talk when they feel like they are walking into an ambush. Avoid negative behavior such as blaming, accusing, or criticizing. Instead try to keep your cool, even if you feel that your spouse is in the wrong on the situation. Try to find a positive way to express the issue that’s bothering you. She explains that “turning a complaint into a request can also make a man more willing to listen.”

Focus on the goal. Her next suggestion is to be straightforward with your point and keep from straying off the topic. When you are irritated about something, it’s hard to keep focused on what you want to say without bringing up past situations that lead up to your current concern. When you stray off topic, your husband will begin to zone out, because he feels like the conversation is never going to hit its climax. If it’s dishes you want them to do then just talk about the dishes, not about the last time they took the garbage out or did laundry.

Huddle up for discussion. Another of Wong’s suggestions is giving your husband the opportunity to provide his input. Women sometimes like to talk out a situation and satisfaction of knowing that someone is listening. They usually don’t want advice; they just need a sounding board so they can figure it out for themselves. Their husband’s are usually nominated to be that sounding board. However, your husband wants to help your situation, because he wants to fix whatever is bothering you. Let him feel included by asking him his opinion on the matter. When he feels needed it’s easier for him to add to the conversation.

With the help of these suggestions, you should have an easier time talking to your husband about the things that concern you.

Source: suite101.com. “How to Communicate Effectively with Husbands.” Wei Yin Wong

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